Spoiler-Free Synopsis

A pianist witnesses a psychic’s murder and now must find the murderer before the murderer kills him.

Spoiler-free Review

Despite some very questionable plotting in places, Deep Red is a very enjoyable Italian Horror flick. It’s most likely one of director Dario Argento‘s best films, if not one of the best in its particular subgenre.

I can’t force myself to give it a perfect score, but believe me, it’s damn good (1.5 points). I loved it when I first saw it on a poor copy, and now that I’ve seen it in pristine condition I love it even more (2 points).

I RECOMMEND it to Italian Horror movie fans. Others might not agree with such high praise, but should check it out. Gory but good.

Overall Score: 3.5 (+) total point out of a possible 4

Opening Thoughts

When I speak of Dario Argento I speak from a great well of ignorance.  Not as great as, say Lucio Fulci, who I’ve only seen one film, but it’s fairly good sized.

So when I tell you that I think Deep Red is his best film, you should know that it’s a praise on the shakiest of legs.

However, of the films of his I’ve seen (which include the glorious messes such as Suspira (1977) and Inferno (1980)), this is my favorite.  Not that I’ve watched it a lot in my life; this marks my second viewing.  The first happened to be, as I recall it, on a pan-and-scan copy.  And a horrible print at that.

Anyways, let us proceed.  As (almost) always, the next section was written as I watched, with thoughts along the way.  There has been some condensing (most of the murders are touched on but not described), so you might not get the feeling that this is a gory, gruesome movie.  Let me assure you, it is.  A trifle fake looking in places, but gory nonetheless.

First off, this is a reprint from my other blog.  It is, without a doubt, one of the best things I’ve done there.  Which is one of the reasons I post it here.

Second off, this essay covers the Showa period of Kaiju films. If you just went “Wha?” over Showa and Kaiju, maybe you should check out this essay.  If not, that’s fine.  It’s not vital to know.

Third off, here there be spoilers for Gamera movies in general, and the original film in particular.  So as you know.

That said, let’s begin.  It kind of goes off the rails at the end, I know, but there’s a lot of truth here.

Entirely too much, really.

These are the days that test a person’s heart. So much disinformation scattered across television, the newspapers. and yes, even the ever reliable internet. Is it any surprise that sometimes we confuse friends for enemies and, likewise, enemies for friends? Every so often, we need to have a wake up call, to have a bit of common sense whispered in our ear. That is what I intend to do here and now for my fellow citizens of the world on a subject that is on the minds of everyone. A terrible threat that stands against everything right thinking people considered good and pure. A danger that, even now, waits in the shadows, plotting, planning, hoping to do untoward things towards our cities, our friends, our families.

That’s right. I’m here to talk about Gamera. No other subject could have such great a bearing on life as we know it.

I know the personal risks for speaking out against this unwieldy giant. There might be consequences, such as a fiery death, being smudged between his toe nails, or, worse, being lectured by a small boy with an annoying voice. Nevertheless, I will take these risks for the greater good. Too long has he been seen as a “friend to children everywhere.” Too often has he been called a “Guardian of the Galaxy”. It is time to take a stand, for the good of all, and now that my flying turtle fall-out shelter has finally been finished, I am reasonably prepared to make that stand.

Let’s start with what we know of our subject.

His past is a mystery, lost in the depths of history. According to the noted Doctor Eiji Hidaka, Gamera comes from fabled Atlantis, shortly before that worthy continent vanished beneath the sea. Whether or not he was responsible for his homeland’s sinking beneath the waves is unknown at this time, but it is in the realm of possibility. After all, as Hidaka rightfully pointed out in his best seller Why Noted Zoologists Should Study Mythological Animals:

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Plato states that Atlantis once rested in the Atlantic Ocean, between Africa and South America. Gamera, found in the Arctic Ocean, had to have some purpose in the north when he was frozen and forgotten.

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Some purpose. And what could that purpose be? Not basking in the summer sun, like a normal turtle. In fact, it is well-known that turtles abhor the cold. What other purpose could Gamera have for being there but to set up an alibi for himself against potential charges of genocide? To this day, a satisfactory answer has yet been given.

We move ahead to more modern times. There is no need to dwell upon the infamous US/Soviet confrontation over the Arctic Ocean that lead to an accidental detonation of a hydrogen bomb. While the area even now shows signs of radiation contamination, a still great problem came from that fateful day. That one blast let loose Gamera from his icy and no doubt too kind prison, and since he has plague the world.

Consider his first actions on regaining mobility. Does he stretch his legs? Does he head to a local bar and order some sake? Does he even ask what day it is? No. Instead, he attacks and sinks a helpless ship, the Chidori Maru. With except for three people, the crew and passengers lost their lives, either as Gamera sank the boat or after in the cold Arctic environment. Perhaps if they were children he would have saved them, eh?

During the next few frightening months, the monster made several destructive appearances, during the course of which the world learned that he ate energy. More to the point, he dines on fire. No wonder he set Tokyo ablaze! He was setting his table for a real smorgasbord, with power lines for the trimming!

Not long after this discovery, Humanity made its one and only attempt at ridding the planet of this terror. The details of Plan Z are, of course, a matter of secrecy to this day. As the World Leaders chose it over Plan Wiley Coyote, we can safely say it didn’t involve shooting Gamera off world with a huge sling shot, nor painting a tunnel on a mountainside for the turtle to attempt going through. One can only hope that Plan Z had a bit more dignity and class than those foolish efforts.

Plan Z in Action

But whatever Plan Z was, it failed, and Gamera went right on with his destructive rampage. No city was safe, no town spared.

Then a curious thing happened. A new monster appeared as if out of nowhere. The two fought, and in the end, Gamera kills it. Overnight, the turtle became a “hero”, a media darling. With Toshio Sakurai’s misguided “Welcome Turtle Friends” (Or WTF) movement, he became known as a “friend to children everywhere.” Children loved him.

From that time, the cycle has continued. A monster appears, Gamera kills it, then another monster appeared, and another, and each time WTF returns to hype up his “heroic” nature. Until, at last, the world believes that it is true. That, instead of being a threat to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, the monster was “good”.

Perhaps this would be understandable if Gamera confined his attacks to battling “threatening” monsters. He does not. Sometimes he goes off and attack Tokyo or some such city simply to provide himself a “fire feast,” to coin a phrase. Members of the WTF (or WTFers) insist that each time he’s being controlled by “Space Men.” That when every one knows that Space Men and the like seldom come to Earth more than a handful of times, such as during the Monster Island Affair and the Okinawa Gambit. And in both instances, one would not a certain turtle being completely absent from either control or from assisting against the invaders.

No one with any sense can look at the actions of Gamera and think of him as anything but a threat. Or a menace. The love he receives baffles the sober mind. Especially since there is another, more worthy monster for the people of Earth to accept as champion. One of class. Of character. Of refined breeding.

Yes, I’m talking about that paragon of virtue, that saint, that glorious fellow, the monster for the common man: Godzilla.

Sure, sure, there have been problems. There have been misunderstandings. Such as his brother’s horrible murder by the mysterious Oxygen Destroyer. Or that tragic, tragic miscommunication between Godzilla and the original Mothra, which ended in the great moth’s untimely demise. Or the leveling of Japanese cities that continues to this very day.

These ever so slight faux pas, though, can all be traced to human error. Godzilla himself is harmless, a curious traveler who would no more than harm you than he would a bird in the sky. So long as we stay out of his territory, he will probably maybe possibly stay out of ours. In fact, your odds of getting away from him is far greater than it is with Gamera himself (See the world-famous essay Brief Thought on Godzilla and Gamera for further insight on this matter.)

I think Godzilla said it best in his autobiography, Wait, They’re Shooting At Me? when he said:

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MRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAOOOOO!

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A motto to live by, my friends. A motto to live by.

So forget Gamera! Forget WTF and those little F-ers! They’re deluding themselves if they think we don’t notice what that gargantuan turtle is doing to our planet!

Support Godzilla! Monster of All Seasons!

Invite him over for coffee! Invite him over for weddings and birthdays! Invite him to speak at your graduation, your business meeting, your best friend’s funeral! Invite him over to watch the kids! Invite him all you like! Cause he’s coming to see you, whether you like it or not!  Godzilla is coming to see you soon! He wants to see you every single day and twice on weekends!

Oh, he’s coming! No ocean is too wide, no mountain too tall, no building too sturdy! He’ll walk all night if he has to! He’ll ask directions! He’ll use GPS! He will hunt you down with sense of smell alone!

And no matter where you run, no matter where you hide, no matter how many baths you take, he’s going to find you! He’s going to show you just what you mean to him! And your life is gonna change WITHIN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES IN HIS PRESENCE!  THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES!  IT’S GOING TO CHANGE FOREVER AND FOREVER! AND THERE’S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP IT!  LEAST OF ALL YOU!

WHY IS HE DOING THIS? WHY IS HE TRAVELING THE WORLD FROM HONG KONG TO MOSCOW TO NEW YORK CITY? WHY IS HE LOOKING FOR YOU, YES YOU, EXCLUSIVELY OVER ALL OTHER PEOPLE?

Because Godzilla loves you.

He thinks you’re special.

And he’s going to prove it no matter how many cities he has to destroy.

Best accept it and move on.

I know I have.

Better believe I have. Sheesh.

Go go Godzilla.

Spoiler-Free Synopsis

The death of an Egyptologist leads to a struggle over a fabulous treasure.

Spoiler-free Review

For most of its run, The Ghoul is an excellent example of Thirties Horror. Good acting, spooky sets, a decent script, and Boris Karloff in what amounts to a cameo part. For this alone, one might consider it worth hunting down.

However, the film has a climax that is implausible at best and risible at worse. Thus with with great sorrow I slip this into the mediocre file of film scores (1 point). Which is a shame, as I do like the movie (1.5 points).

Overall Score: 2.5 total point out of a possible 4

Opening Thoughts

Most won’t care, but here’s my mindset going into this one:

The last review I completed was Octaman, and that flick hit me like a hammer. I didn’t want to review movies after that. I didn’t want to watch movies period. What I wanted to do I didn’t know, but not that.

Well there was a little problem. NaNoWriMo looms once again, and experience taught that little gets done in the way of extra writing during that. While this site has gone fallow in the past (and no doubt will again), I hadn’t wanted it to do so if it could be avoided. Thus I’d worked on a nice buffer of posts. Up to Octaman.

You know what the problem is with a buffer of posts? It decreases with each update.

Thus, to keep up the buffer, I needed a film. One that I could count on not to hurt me too bad.

Which was the reason behind picking this film. While not considered a true classic, The Ghoul has never had the stench of badness that some films possessed. Plus it had Boris Karloff in it. How bad could it be?

Don’t… don’t start, okay? Let’s turn the page and see what we shall see…

 Look, I understand the pain of seeing a beloved movie turned into some pulsating unnameable horror. I’ve seen The Fog (2005) which took something that was fourth and inches from a Horror Classic and turned it into something so stupid it couldn’t find its way out of a paper sack, no matter how many holes you cut into said sack. I’ve seen Godzilla (1998) which missed the point of the original so badly it had to of hurt itself in the process. I have even seen Octaman and The Flying Serpent (1946), of which enough has already been said on both.

 But come off it. Even if the above movies had been completely original, they still would have been bad movies. Why? Because they’re bad movies!

 Honesty. Forget the original. Does a single one of those films become magically good?

 Of course not.

 A remake is a film. No worse or no better than any other. The only thing that makes it different is that it has a film out there that can compete with it on its own terms far better than any other film.

 Every time I see someone carping on remakes, I want to scream at them. Because without remakes, film history would be so much poorer.

 Don’t believe me? Consider that without remakes, we wouldn’t have John Huston/Ray Bradbury’s adaptation of Moby Dick (1956) Instead, we’d just have the 1930 version. You know, the one where Ahab kills Moby Dick. The one that’s so faithful to the source book.

 Speaking of Huston, out would go Humphry Bogart’s masterful performance as detective Sam Spade. The Maltese Falcon (1941) is, of course, a remake of Satan Met a Lady. Never heard of it? There’s probably cause.

Let’s move back to the safety of Speculative Film; that’s what this site’s all about, right? Without remakes, there’d be no Hammer Horror. At all. Whether you’re talking about The Quatermass Xperment/The Creeping Unknown, Curse of Frankenstein or Dracula/Horror of Dracula, they are all remakes of earlier films. Hell’s teeth, if no remakes were allowed, we’d lose Boris Karloff. Frankenstein (1931), too, is a remake.

Writer Theodore Sturgeon once said that “90% of everything is crap” in defense of Science Fiction. If I might be so bold, the same thing applies to remakes. Most remakes are crap because most films are crap. To say “No more remakes” is to throw the baby out with the bath water, and, to be honest, to show just how little one knows about films.

Spoiler-Free Synopsis

A expedition must contend with the unwanted attentions of a mutant octopus

Spoiler-free Review

If classic monster movies are soda pops, then Octaman is flat Creature from the Black Lagoon. It has a terrible looking monster, bland acting, and an ever present feeling of awfulness (0 points). I don’t like this movie (.5 points) and I DONT RECOMMEND you seeing it.

Overall Score: .5 (-) total point out of a possible 4

Opening Thoughts

It’s been a month since we’ve reviewed a movie that’s a remake without being a remake. Why not do another one?

That’s a compelling reason, one I wish you brought up sooner, cause it’s too late. For today we look at Octaman, remake (or ripoff) of the Sci Fi Classic Creature from the Black Lagoon.

This, dear reader is a historic artifact. Here we have the last film of Pier Angeli, an actress who came close to marrying the one and only James Dean. Her career wasn’t exactly the brightest, but it’s still a shame it ended so early, with her being only 39.

Which, I know, is ancient in Hollywood years, but still.

This is also the last theatrical work for Jeff Morrow. Here is a name that will be popping up later in this Review site’s life (assuming I survive more pictures like this one). He stared in such classic films as This Island Earth, Kronos, and… um… The Giant Claw. Closer in line to today’s feature, he appeared in the last Creature movie, The Creature Walks Among Us.

Odd coincidence, no? But that’s not all, for there’s one more lasts for us to mention. This is the last film of its writer/director, Harry Essex. Like Morrow, Essex had a hand in such classic movies as It Came From Outer Space and… ah… Man Mad Monster. Well I liked it.

More importantly, though, Essex wrote the original Creature from the Black Lagoon. Thus he cribs from his own past glories.

Leave us not dwell on the sadness of the moment. For there is plenty of that to come as I watch this film Believe me. There is one more point of historic noting that must be attended to. This is the first film of Special Effects master Rick Baker. From here he would (in time) go to create creatures for movies like King Kong (1976), Star Wars, and the classic American Werewolf in London.

I know about the dates not matching. This movie was made in 1972 but not released until 1976. For reasons that soon will be all too clear.

Wow! Do I rattle on in this Opening Thoughts. Wish they were all like this. But enough. Let us return to Mexico. There is a misnamed monster laboring to leave the water’s depths…

Note: The IMDb has failed me with names for this film. Thus only the few names given there will be reported here.

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